The Celtic Storm

A: I think it depends on where you’re at in your life at the time. Some people are ready to settle down with one person at a young age, some people aren’t (ME!). Some people date around well into their 40’s, some don’t. In my opinion, it all depends on your attitude, your maturity level, any emotional issues, etc., etc., etc.

For example, someone who is emotionally unstable and terrifically co-dependent may, in my experience, have both the desire for a long term relationship, but because of their issues, also lose relationships fairly often, thus they wind up in a lot of relationships because they always need someone, anyone to be there for them. Some people are just so immature and so wrapped up in the thought of being in love that they force themselves to think that they are, in fact, in love.

I have a handful of friends that got married fresh out of high school. I don’t know a single one of them that isn’t divorced. In my opinion, you shouldn’t even think about marriage until you’ve lived a little. I don’t care how crazy or hectic or how much you’ve been through, you are not ready for marriage at 18. No exceptions to that rule. At the least, you should spend a solid year after turning 21 to enjoy the dating scene. It’s not always fun, it’s not always pretty, but you will gain a lot of life experience. After all, without hell, you wouldn’t know what heaven was like. Thus, without truly experiencing the disaster that is the dating scene, you can’t truly appreciate a normal, healthy, long term relationship. But I’d still be weary of giving up my dating rights at 22 years of age.

I think for one to truly understand and appreciate a good relationship they need to “experience life” until at least their late 20’s, early 30’s. I came damn close to getting married in my early to mid 20’s and, to be frank, I thank God every day that I didn’t go through with it. I didn’t really want to get married, it just seemed like that was the natural progression of my life. I had my career, I was able to support a family, I had worked my way into a position at work that I loved, I was finally working close to home (Which turned out to be a detriment to previously mentioned relationship), it just seemed like the next thing to do was get married, start having kids and beginning to live the farce that is the American dream. But, as time went on, I realized that the American dream was a joke, a waste of time. George Carlin once said "They call it the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it."

I could be so much more than another unsatisfied husband, with a lazy ass wife, 2.83 kids, a dog and a white picket fence. That’s just not me, it never was me and it never will be me. Maybe one day I will settle down, get married and start reproducing to begin the Sean Republican Army, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop taking risks to achieve greatness. Therefore, I’d have to find a pretty understanding woman to be with. On top of that, to say that I’m fairly impatient is an understatement. I was once told that I “chain date”, which I don’t think I do, I like to think that I’m simply trying to find my best option, so I move around quite a bit. When buying a car, you have to test drive a few cars before you commit yourself to an eternity of paying it off. It’s similar to a marriage, buying a car is, you don’t know how truly fucked you are until you read the fine print. I don’t think that sitting back and waiting for the right person to find you is the most proactive course of action. I think putting yourself out there to meet people is the best course of action. After all, if you don’t look for what you want, who’s to say that they’ll find you? It’s an awfully big assumption to think that the right person will find you while you’re resting on your laurels.
In my formative years, I bounced around from relationship to relationship without ever being too serious about anything. But as I’ve grown, I’ve approached every relationship with the same thought process, that I was looking for something solid, something that could last. If I found the girl to be sub par or not able to meet my expectations, I ended the relationship and moved on. Simple enough, I wasn’t going to settle for a mediocre life and I still won’t. My best advice is to live a little in your early 20’s. Date around, have fun, learn a little about yourself and what you want in a partner. As you approach your mid to late 20’s become a little more serious about your relationships, start developing the framework of what you want in your significant other and begin seeking out the people who have those qualities. Don’t be in such a rush to fall in love, take your time and make sure you find the right person for you. In the end, the manner in which you find your significant other is, ultimately, up to you. There truly is no right or wrong way. It doesn’t matter if it’s the first person you date or the 200th person you date, when you know, you just know.

My thoughts recorded here are just that, my own thoughts and opinions on the matter. They’re not the Holy Grail of meeting your future husband or wife. The only thing I can say that is across the board relevant is to make absolutely sure that the person you pick is right for you, someone you don’t have to change for, someone who treats you with love and respect and someone who fits into the guidelines of what you want for the rest of your life. Remember, divorces are expensive, and often times ugly. When looking for a suitable mate, you need to prioritize your needs. And unless you’re a shallow asshole, looks should not be at the top of your list. Looks are all fine and good, but outside of sex and impressing your friends, what else are they good for? Don’t get me wrong, physical attraction is the basis of any relationship, you simply must find your mate to be physically attractive. But they also have to meet other, more important requirements, to have suitable, healthy relationship with. Otherwise, you’ll just end up another statistic in the divorce rates.