What the fuck is wrong with men today? I experience more pussified, irrational jealousy from men than I could from women in a thousand years. It's like they can't stand the attention I get from women. It's disgusting, it's obnoxious and it's especially fucking pathetic. Seriously, here's the situation I encounter time and motherfucking time again. I meet a girl or already know a girl. One day we're talking and inevitably us hanging out comes up. So you try to make plans, as you both seem interested in meeting and getting to know each other personally. One day, she mentions some activity that she's attending. It's a public event, you're available and it seems like a good time to meet each other in person. In response, I'll get the "Oh, well, my friend, (insert dickheads name) will be there and he doesn't like you." WHAT? I'm perplexed because I've never met (insert dickheads name). How can (insert dickheads name) not like me? I understand if I'd have met (insert dickheads name). I offend people. Often. Sometimes intentionally. I can accept that someone who has spent time in my presence would not like me. Fuck, I don't even like me. Mostly because I spend all fucking day with me. But what about when they haven't spoken word one to me?
That's what really pisses me off. The girl and I meet and start talking. Inevitably, (insert dickheads name) finds out about me through the girl generally talking about me. Just basically that she met a new friend and he seems like a decent guy, blah, blah, blah. So (insert dickheads name) "accidentally" stumbles onto my web page, reads a few blogs, witnesses the mass of whores that surround me and decides that I am evil incarnate. Or at least I may take away his object of desire. It's a little bit of both, but mostly that the girl may wind up dating me instead of him. So (insert dickheads name) decides that it is his sworn duty to protect said girl from me. Either that or he's a wormy, jealous piece of shit that couldn't stand "his girl" dating someone far superior to himself. So fucking what, get the fuck over yourself. She either dated you and deemed you undesirable to her future plans (a lot of these douchebags are ex-boyfriends) or never wanted to date you. Just give up. Seriously, you hanging around, making derogatory comments about me and stalking my personal, online profiles, there's only one thing that you're going to prove. That you're an obsessive, possessive asshole. I just don't understand how someone could think that by treating their friend (Because that's what you are. There's a name for what you aren't and that is boyfriend) as a possession would make them seem more desirable. Luckily, I am both experienced and professional about the manner in which to deal with this. It's actually quite simple, you pin "them" as the enemy, against "us". Us against them works every time. (Insert dickheads name) actually makes picking the girl up easier than it would've been other wise. Good job, buddy. At least we're working towards the same goal; getting me laid.
I have a friend, Allie, that I have known for... 7 or so years. Let me set the stage for you as to how fucking stupid men are. Number one is that in the past eight to nine years, Alayna has dated one man. Me. (God help her) In the same amount of time she has dated numerous women. Alayna is a lesbian, she just made an exception for me. When men try to pick her up, she is honest and tells them straight up, "I don't exactly like men." But they still fucking try. It's the equivalent of running, full force, into a brick wall, and expecting the wall to fall, not you. It's insanity. So this guy will stick around, trying to "fix" her. Inevitably, he finds out about me. At first, he may tread lightly. After all, Alayna and I are best friends today. Just because we dated in the past doesn't mean we can't be friends now. But eventually, and it always happens, he will find out that we dated, find out that I sometimes spend the night and find out that her daughter considers me a father figure (God help her). And he'll get pissed. Like he has any fucking right. I mean, honestly, this happens to me constantly. I'm tired of being the "bad boy" that every woman needs protection from. It used to be cute, maybe even a little fun at times. I could post comments on their site, cute, little, flirty things that make the guy squirm. But that's not even fun anymore. It's fucking annoying. It's no fucking wonder I have almost no male friends.
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